play your life be a princess

2008-02-26T07:54:00.001-08:00

lou has changed to sugarbunnies.wordpress.com.
have a feeling id be too irritated there and will be back. we'll see. haha.
cya there!

2008-02-18T06:05:00.000-08:00

NOt in a sweet mood! tigger just left. i feel so sad. im so used to having him ard. i want to disturb him. pat his head. squeeze his flabby tummy. no one will buy food for me when i want it at the middle of the night anymore. no one is going to fetch me just cos im tired and i called. i miss tigger less than five mins after he's left. i even miss tigger telling me to "get lost. dont disturb me". tigger is boucing back to australia and with me in US and norway and him not coming back i think we can only see each other next year. =( not happy. feeling v sad and depressed at his empty room. i want him just lying there in his bed watching tv. tigger come home. =(

2008-02-15T04:28:00.001-08:00

i never realised that term break came so fast and that my parents were gg to bangkok that very weekend. the moment i realised i got my dad to book and ta-da... i'm booked for fri's flight there! now i know i'm going ive tried to resist buying anything here. honestly ever since ive been to europe japan and bangkok. the stuff here i feel is neither here nor there. neither edge cutting fashion nor cheap. so ive bought a lot less. but they always say its still alot. i guess i have a lot to cut down on.

norway US and taiwan is coming. kinda scaring me out. but i know i must and will go and will end up loving it. need to start planning out all the places we wanna go. i'm sure i'll have fun.. met wei ni and qq that day and we talked alot abt norway. there are alot of things to consider i realise.

vday was spent with victor dada karen mainly outside in bugis eating and walking ard. kailun and terry came too later and we ended up eating lots of cakes in coffee bean. haha. my bag was surprisingly heavy. i think i cant carry sling bags anymore. i'm so used to my backpack that it hurts now to carry. thanks to my sister, victor for carrying it. actually i feel its quite nice to be his sister esp if its the real one at home. well i also have my tigger elder bro. =)

finally did my medical checkup. got the injection. haha nurse used a walking and talking elmo to let me play with while she did it. hand still feels weak. bought my new shampoo and bathing stuff finally today at queensway. wanted to go so long but didnt buy cos all so heavy to carry la. must drive.

my online stuff is not coming! i cant believe how slow it is. i better stop buying in case i've left for US when the time they come and thats virtually useless. firstly the tops. all out of stock. how can! ive chosen replacements dunno if they are in or not. then the cam. it better arrive before i leave cos i wanna bring it there! and the dresses. and my accessories. why are they not coming!!

quiz on mon. stressed man. realised i need to up my level of maturity, EQ, and ability to handle all the little things. like admin work and little naggy stuff that needs my attention. i guess ive been leaving these things to others for so much in my life that ive lost the brain power to do it. ive always thought i was lucky and blessed. but really will luck be with me forever. i guess i have to learn how myself. so one day if anything happens i will be able to do it. BUT somehow stupid me wishes that day will never come. no. louise you have to handle things yourself.

2008-02-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

hey hey.. its the first day of chinese new year! not much happened actually mainly the routine of eating and eating and eating.. haha. we watched CJ7 today. quite nice la.

CJ7 is so cute. i'm going to make props for my little cousin Atticus so that he will wear to be like that! that guy is actually v lovable when he doesnt throw tantrums. i tried talking sense into him today about not fighting. for some reason. he loves to fight and push people. kick and hit. omg. but somehow i think he wasnt really listening. but if he wasnt why would he so quietly sit in my lap when i reasoned with him. normally he'd just -yes, hit you- and run off or squeal. haha.

i'm dying for the day i have my own kid and am able to teach him or her my values that i believe in. they say its so scary to face little lou but he or she is going to be so cute. haha hardly see a 20 yr old obsessing abt her own kid ya. haha.and i want at least 3 boys and a girl if i cant get twins -which i am dying for-. all cos i want my princess to be pampered by all her brothers. i think having older brothers to take care of you is a lucky thing. speaking of tigger, he went to KTV that day and learnt that silly jocie kwok, guo mei mei's new song..the english version of god is a girl and started singing and dancing. he looks so cute and stupid i cant help but hug him till he gets irritated. haha.

I'm waiting now for my nanny to finish her stuff so she will make nian gao for me. yes the sweet sticky thing that i so love! today cheryl called me auntie! omg ive upgraded. from jie jie to auntie! well seems natural when my brother is uncle. haha. somehow i miss jie jie.. =)

As the year comes ive realised ive spent so much its scary. but then again alot of it is for presents. but ya la i spend a lot on myself too. i should stop spending so much. cos really when i look at my cupboard and the things i wanna buy, not more than often the things resemble each other. so why get when i have a perfectly good substitute at home right. thats my new resolution.

I'm wondering if i can spare time for thai boxing. ive been dying to go but then time is not on my side. i'll try hard to squeeze time out. all of a sudden i realise my visits to US and norway and coming to fast i'm a bit scared. of what i dont know. if i did i wouldnt be. i guess i just hate to go somewhere where i have so many unknown factors. but i have to. and i will, thanks god i'm going with friends. =)

ooh the most impt thing of all. i realised i love my new roomie. she is so cute and so fun to play with. i cant believe i'm missing her just cos she is going back home to malaysia for a few days during cny. and she misses me too. i guess feelings do develop when u stay together. not to mention that she treats me like a little sister. shes is 3 years older than me. but still..i'd feel really sad if when i come back from norway i cant stay with her again =(

vday is coming. somehow i feel excited and sad at the same time. when i saw ah-meow getting ready for vday i felt so sweet at what she was doing. i was thinking ooh thats so sweet i'd love to have that. but only to realise ive gotten that before too. but why did it take me so long to remember. so the saddest thing is not having anyone to love you. but that you cant bear to love and dont want to love that person in return. so in conclusion it is a bliss to love someone and have that someone love you in return. AND be able to make concessions for each other and give way so that you guys will live happily ever after.

somehow today on cny. i feel so serene sitting at home. not wanting to go out for once. haha. maybe tml.

2008-02-01T07:06:00.000-08:00

a very happening week.

monday.
went out to JP for lunch with victor and karen. had so much fun. cos finally we stopped discussing and fretting over tech com cos the teacher is realy giving us such a hard time. omg.
joke of e week : i dont want to invite u to my wedding. if i marry you i wont have to invite you la!
reply : u wanna support her for the rest of ur life just cos u wanna save on one meal?
hahaha. anyway we're planning the singles night for vday. funny ah. haha.
then went to queensway with human it was such a rush. but we got our stuff. but no time for anchor point and ikea. boo hoo! haha.

tues.
only one lesson. sad case day. haha. met TK for lunch and ban mian at hall 13 is the worst ever. moral of the story. if u wanna eat, eat the well known to be edible ones. never ever try new things. esp those that u have never seen ppl eating.
and then dance. omg. it was so fast and so much like a roller coaster ride. girls do all the things in dance. we dip. we turn. we kick. everything. ok la. guys have to hold properly but thats abt it. haha. when is our turn to just pose and let them do the work. kinda glad i found a second partner in competitors class. in technique class my partner is simply so wooden and unresponsive. makes its so awkward to dance with him. i convince myself this is technical. haha. dada says me and my second partner look alike. haha. well for one thing he's been dancing for more than one sem and can lead well. and also its more stable dancing with him. but i have a feeling i wont be dancing with him next time. haha. and my whole body ached after that. the upper torso due to the turning and dipping and the legs due to splitting. its a sport. what do i expect.

wed.
supposed to meet jess for a movie but cos my elec ends so late we had to rush and didnt have proper dinner. i ended up having waffles. we watched 27 dresses. haha quite nice. and my elec was nice too. a movie called gattaca. they show nice sci fic movies really. i had to go early but effy said the ending was awesome. shall watch it online. silly effy says he will send me fried chicken wings in norway during raya. nonsense la. next somehow i went clubbing. dee told the whole world i was going. told everyone BUT ME. cos i havent been going for so long she told everyone i was going. and didnt TELL ME. silly girl. she'd better tell me on the day if i'm gg to be her bridesmaid and she didnt tell me i'm supposed to go for her wedding. lamer haha. went to MOS. so empty. we were so happy cos there was nobody u could just stretch. the podium was just like the few of us at the main arena. but then even smoove wasnt sardine land as usual la. haha and there werent weird ppl! yay! haha. there were banglas la. haha imagine dancing bangla to "the way i are" hahahahaha. omg. apart from the shoes that dee bought me hurt so much that i had to rest often and in the end wear suf's sneakers to dance i had a nice time. i will wear sneakers there next time. my adidas stan smith. to jump up and down. haha. the arena was kinda nice too with the live band except that we couldnt get a front table so we left. the back tables u couldnt see the band and action. couldnt wake up for class. we left MOS at 6 plus. am.

thurs.
very tired day but its jen's birthday so i went out with dee to get her birthday present. i got her diamond studs. oops no its cubic zirconia the next nearest thing to diamond in white gold. both of us went broke for that. haha. everything went into that. she was supposed to meet me at ten. but i had no news of which KTV we were supposed to go to cos Jurong's closes at 3 and we'd prefer the orchard one that closes at 6. her phone had no batt i guess. dee had to go though she wanted to accompany me. but her parents were calling. queensway was closing so i had to leave macs. waiting at the bus stop. in the end took a bus to orchard. waited at orchard mrt. some grp of matts were there. they wanted to come over so i left. i walked to lucky plaza macs. they followed. i was kinda horrified. i left to OG. some guard chased me away saying they are closing.. and i wasnt allowed to sit there. but they followed too. then i went walking ard the area hoping they'd stop. they did. and in the end some bangla came. and somehow i started crying. i dunno why. from looking at the clock and thinking what would i do if she didnt come or went to jurong.. thinking i was there alone cos i spent all my money on her present i didnt have enough for a cab esp since cab prices rised so much now and with midnight surcharge its so expensive back to NTU and i couldnt take MRT if the service stopped. i panicked. i was crying and crying. i felt such a loser and i told myself not to cry. jenny would come. she would never leave me alone. i had to just wait. but somehow i just could stop. i mean its really embarassing crying in the middle of orchard road with no tissue wiping everything disgustingly on my sleeves and makeup ruining and people looking. so i called linda to talk to her so people would stop looking and i could take my mind off being alone by chatting. the whole thing was not abt waiting it was about not knowing where to go and everything was closing and chasing me away. it was kinda stressing. waiting for a hint of where to meet and where i should go. i felt so lost walking down orchard road.that time felt like forever, i kept calling and sms-ing. i feel so stupid for breaking down. im 20. not 12. omg. ive never felt so alone in orchard till then. my mother called and i felt so sad that i had to tell her i was in hostel and she was saying what to cook on friday and i wanted so badly to go home but couldnt tell her where i was or go home. linda was so decisive when i called her. she said where are u now i will go pick u. its not safe and she asked her sister to drive me immediately and her mother was so sweet said.. the one with good skin right.. tell her to come stay a night la. but talking to linda really made me feel better and i told her i would wait for jenny. linda made me laugh and stop crying. i love linda. she kept telling me to leave but.. i mean its her 21st birthday. i could leave on anyday but this. surprisingly i didnt feel angry at all just very tired and scared all night. in the end i realised i could call her friends. not those with her but anyone from business to see if they had anyone's number. those who were with her. i did. and the girl was so shocked to hear me. i tried to sound normal to ask her for the numbers but when i asked where is jenny. i cried again. omg. now i think of it i looked such a wreck crying. anyway jenny came and we sent her friends home and werent home with her to get her stuff and we left for NTU. i was too tired to go anywhere so we just went back to hall bathed and slept. i was so emotionally tired. but i was really happy jen liked her present so much. she wanted something simple to wear to work next time and i had this exact same idea too. to get something evergreen and simple. anyway thank god for linda. really. could tell she was irritated with jen. i know shes in the wrong but i can swear she doesnt mean it. she would have a reason. she was prob driving. and i was so tired.

fri
today i woke up with eyes one third of my original eye. it was so swollen, the girls knew exactly what happened. honestly i got such a shock. i have never ever seen my eyes like that before. shows that i have never cried for so long before. it was like a slit. so small. im like shit shit shit. like i couldnt open my eyes no matter how hard i pried. i was like omg. when linkesh talked to me i could only see his torso at eye level. the length my eyes opened too didnt even see his face. omg. they were saying i looked like a panda. everyone asked me if i was okay. i managed to avoid that embarrassing fact that i cried by telling ppl i didnt sleep enough. even sir asked me.. sleeping ah. omg. shows how bad it was. i have never seen the world in this light before. never. shows how damaging crying is. i finally know how people go blind from crying. omg. after i got home i got some smses from the guys in sch. asking if i was ok. seem odd the way they show concern cos they dont know how to phrase it and am scared to ask the wrong thing but try to comfort anyway but really im touched. no matter what u say. and even offer to let me hit with a pillow. which was what he would hate most normally. sometimes i'm glad my friends although think my character is crazy and unbearable still accept me for who i am and care for me. thats true friendship. i guess thats why i am one lucky girl. i fall among the clouds of their friendship cushioning me. thank you. even dee who had to leave but tried her best to make me happy throughout. and when i got home it suddenly felt nothing mattered anymore. no matter how much mum nags. and i finally admit i am now scared of going out late at night and im not as strong as i think. i'm happy to be home. in my room.

i have a lot to do this week with all the applications and stuff like projects. but i will try to relax to do everything the best i can. i'm happy to be home. and my aunt just bought me clothes. pants jacket and sweater. haha. so happy. from fox and esprit. okies tiring day. i will go sleep. to make my eyes as big as they used to be!

2008-01-22T08:14:00.000-08:00

dedicating this to someone.. and anyone who feels the same.

JoJo - Too little too late

Come with me, stay the night
You say the words but boy it don't feel right
What do you expect me to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You take my hand, and you say you've changed
But boy you know your beggin don't fool me
Because to you it's just a game
So let me on down
Cause time has made me strong
I'm starting to move onI
'm gonna say this now
Your chance has come and gone
And you know
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

I was young and in love
I gave you everything but it wasn't enough
And now you wanna communicate
Go find someone else
In lettin you go, I'm lovin myself
You gotta problem
But don't come askin me for help
Cause ya know
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)
I can love with all of my heart baby
I know I have so much to give (I have so much to give)
With a player like you, I don't have a prayer
That's the way to live, yeah oh

It's just too little, too late
Yeah
It's just too little too late
A little too wrong
And I can't wait
Boy you know all the right things to say (You know it's just too little too late)
You say you dream of my face
But you don't like me
You just like the chase
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway (You know it's just too little too late)

2008-01-22T00:24:00.000-08:00

mood swing week. so much hype on the norway trip. i dont understand the mentality on those who dont wanna go but cant we just leave them alone? omg. spend so much effort psycho-ing them.

been leading a decadent life ever since sch reopened. its mainly characterized by an indulgent lifestyle without responsibility. dunno why. guess the five day week itself is eating up alot of time alrdy leaving me no one single day free to do stuff. there is so much i wanna do. need to do and have to do. aiyah. i still wanna go for thai boxing. im in latin dance but thats quite slack. and im in publications again. shooting for HO tml. tiring.

ppl keep asking me to club. but dunno why not in the mood leh. like over that kind alrdy. like i just wanna dress nice nice pretty pretty go somewhere but not a club. no time to meet up with friends these days. mostly in hall. so tiring to go out except maybe JP. went there last night for dinner. i so love pasar malam food. haha. always no matter how full i am i will eat little bit from there. wish i had more time to go out. now i just go out on sat for a day and im totally busted and tired. im officially getting old.

just discovered my new roomate is very fun to play with. she is so funny. just have to discover more.. haha. i will miss her if i go away for my exchange and when i come back cant stay with her anymore. hard to get used to someone and change again.

i dreamt again that i ran away from my own wedding at the door. scary. i always hv such a dream. i hope it doesnt come true. ys says i will have mother in law conflicts. haha. thats long to go la huh.

alot to do. a lot to plan. i need my life to be full. with goodness. like cereal. maybe a bit of chocolate sometimes. lots of it. haha.

2008-01-15T06:57:00.001-08:00

so a new sch week has started. felt like its still hols. ive been out every single day last week. with our girls.. and ppl i meet up with. had bbq at toon's hse on sat. despite my resolution not to drink they made this rocking drink which was kahlua + milk + bailey's = lovely milkshake! i drank a lot! but really not much alcohol was in it la. it was like a milkshake. haha. we had fun playing mj and bbq ing. haha. his hse is so modern. haha. but then again.. prob harder to upkeep. had fun that day la. think i scared his bro by throwing a mj tile at yj. haha and bz went crazy la..haha we played guessing games physically. haha by standing up and virtually dancing. haha. but his whole family is very nice la. makes sure we have fun and mix with us too. and i left b4 the soccer match cos i hafta get up early and the next day's full too. nice to have tigger send me home when all i have to do is call. i sure love having him ard though hes always tired and lazing at home. its family. tigger is willing to bounce ard town to find me when i need him. and he got me a coach wristlet cos i wanted one for my bdae. haha. i love tigger! not hard to see why his gf does everything for him. its nice to have an elder bro. to take up whatever u dont want to do. haha. dad. mum. thats what ur son is here for. haha. =)

my aim this sem is to work hard and play hard! i joined latin dance in sch. ha. and although my 5 day week is busy.. i think i'll have more time too. just cut my hair again. cudnt stand it on sun and my aunt told me go la. if not cny v ex. so ok. not bad, i liked the fringe though the tops still so short. somehow i cudnt stand growing past that stage where i endure for the long hair. haha. the hairstylist guy is so gay. haha. he acts cute like no one. haha. and my aunt enjoyed talking to him. i guess hes fun to entertain la. haha. my weekends are now damn precious cos i have so little time at home!

went to see ys play ivp yday. he sprained his ankle. i got so excited seeing them play. the tp team is good. they underestimated them. really the young just seem to have so much energy. i feel old. argh. some guys are so cute too. haha. but too young la. not mature. curse at referee get yellow card. haha. they lost.i felt so sad. they cud hv won. the scores are quite close and they cud have pulled it back.

phone. no my singtel line is having prob here. the 2G network is congested. seems like i have to change it to a 3G one. i complained so they'll give it to me FOC. only this is the prob in boonlay. cant wait. irritating me and ppl when they cant get me.

ppl ard me arent very happy these days. but lou is here to shine the rainbow! haha. so that everyone ard me is happy. - what can i do to make u happy-

2008-01-05T08:17:00.000-08:00

sch's reopening so fast i cant even remember what i did with it. except coming back from japan that is. but that only took a week. hmm. memory is failing me. haha. lets try to recap.

xmas : spent with S6C and gang at shunlong's hse. actually we dont really care abt xmas. haha. we just end up playing and a chance yearly to get tgther. as usual majong is the hightlight no matter we can play or not and i always have to engage a bouncer to look out for me or i'll never have a chance to game. haha. my xiaodi went to tw and came back with NOTHING! haha. well hes a guy. what do u expect. haha. he got me a roxy wallet. so sweet.

countdown : off to clarke quay after meeting beni in the afternoon. she leaves US for the next day. so sad we didnt have much time. then to meet sufi anu and dee. dan and two other frens came. had dinner then went off to see najip ali host the countdown. the foreigners who participated there were hilarious. esp an indian dancing the bangrah who stripped to his singlet. then again all the guys who went on stage to dance stripped. luckily we got a seat at haagen dazz to watch all this. later after 12, the rest went off standing outside and in the party blowing bubbles that we bought at toysrus to people there and saying happy new yr. me and dee were too tired but seriously ppl respond so happily that it seems worth it. haha. mad those ppl. haha. next off to MOS. so many ppl. and again retarded guys. ha. but with dan the number who tries has reasonably decreased. after which we went off to macs as always to lke settle down before leaving. again i didnt drink at all. =) oh. met my bro's fren there and we shared cab home. weird. makes sense why hes my bro fren and not mine. ha.

jen rented a car that day. we had fun going everywhere. IMM, mustafa, turf city, supper... haha.it really makes a diff once uve stayed with that person. she will be the one i miss. and with the fact thats shes still here and all just that we no longer stay tgther. aiyah.

went to fetch weini back frm norway. so touching that she cried when she came out. felt like it was all worth it. and the way she hugs her loved ones. sometimes i think who will be waiting for me there this year? haha but thats long to go. and we had popeyes at the airport and a movie at that shopping mall at tampines mall too. just so we could see her later. then a few days later we met up to play at minds cafe. seems like we always do that. haha. and eat pastamania. the way she tells me abt norway makes me sooo wanna go. =)

met claire today to hv lunch since she's leaving for jap for her IA. i so envy her. my wish is never to earn local currency ie work in spore if i can while im young. japan is on the top of my list. haha. i'll miss her. siao girl. haha.

met jac finally after soo long. we always complain we never see enough of each other. haha. we just ate and ate and ate because we were too lazy to do anything else and it was so crowded in orchard, people buy things like theyre free. no not buy. grab. omg. we had dim sum at lei garden then off to the coffee club for dessert. haha. simply wanted to talk. she did the black eyeshadow and liner for me. somehow it looks natural on her and so dramatic on me. she insists its getting used to it that matters.

couldnt meet up with our MS girls that much this sem cos most of them were working.
1. our picnic at botanical gardens. karen dada dawn and me. we brought wayyy too much food. but we found a small shelter and had a nice time eating and chatting. bee hoon muffins sandwiches. haha. too bad i had to pick my dad later and had no time to walk walk. haha.

2. our visit to surprise linda on her bdae. happy bdae darling. ken chezchez dada and me. had to hunt for her place ok. haha. and i met her family. they are all so cute. haha. went for supper had lovely prata and then they went to my hse to chat. if ken didnt have to work the next day we might have chatted thru the night. haha.

sometimes ppl tell me i have very diff friends. of all kinds. and ppl have diff opinions abt them. but really.. dont judge ppl by their looks esp when you dont know a thing abt them. if u can see beneath u'll realise the good in every person. and if u cant. its just because u lack the factor to ignite it. cos ppl have told me so many times, i really dont look too friendly myself either. haha.

been having late night these days. my parents dont like it. but its the holidays.. when i start sch and start to stay in hostel where can i have a chance to catch up with friends.. sometimes i just feel like i need to breathe. then again my daily routine of going out isnt exactly helping. haha. but i have so much to do. i havent met up with all of my friends yet. oh dear. u see the prob is most of them dont mix tgther. haha.

i bought my new hp. gasp. its an o2 atom life. i felt handicapped using it cos its so diff from the norm keypad. BUT. its powerful and smart. i believe it will serve me well. =) matches my asus new eee pc. starting to get IT savvy, hahaha. joking la. went back to hall yday after buying it to pack stuff and clean a bit and went for lunch at jp with ys. miss hovering ard jp for bubble tea haha. and the pearls are getting lesser and lesser! haha.

i have a not so good premonition. if that happens. i will run! away. haha. i hope i think too much.

schs reopening. im spending my last day of vacation at home i guess. haha. 2008. we're gonna have a blast! life is like a track. its the turns that make it interesting. and i'll make sure its a fast one =)

2007-12-27T08:20:00.000-08:00

every time i try harder. but somehow. the work doesnt seem to match up to the grades i end up with. oh gosh. im trying. i really am.

2007-12-20T04:22:00.000-08:00

been sick once i came back from japan. dizzy. inner ear imbalance. cant believe that my mum was right for once. no tv, com or gg out. i nearly turned into a fossil at home! really. but then again even though i was supposed to go out i had to cancel. seriously that is worse than anything else. strips u of ur senses. totally. once i felt better i went out. with our MS girls for dinner and walk walk. cam whored at starbucks! haha. so much fun! and we did hair extensions 3 of us. tk dada and me. dawn says she wouldnt dare to stand beside me if she didnt know me. my hairstyle my hair extensions. red by the way and my boots. somehow though some guys are not scared. I LOVE MANGO SALE! haha so many dresses, i had to stop myself at 3. linda and kaka were like dont buy so much! i want more more more! realised ive been on a dress spree recently. ha. easy to wear. no need to think of combinations. and its been earrings spree too! hee.so tiring to dress to be girlish. dunno how the rest dont even have to try. i feel so much more at ease with my boy boy look. no worries at all. esp with human. but i cant be bothered what ppl think. we had fun at bugis too!

yday we were really silly. our brains actually didnt tell us it was a public holiday eve. partly cos di was working and so once its off day i couldnt really care much. zouk was blasted. jac has to pretend to faint to get in. omg and ppl were lying out on the road drunk. seriously. dont they have friends? losers. next we just wanted to eat. went to clarke quay. ended up at MOS. stupid bouncer tried to hit on di. bleah. haha. bouncers there are weird. the last time that one too. omg.

oh i didnt drink at all despite we had 4 drinks that came with the tix cos i know i'm still recovering and i dont want to test the limits esp with only girls. yups. i miss our royale barricade of guys surrounding us so we have so much freedom and space compared to without them. i seriously will not bully them anymore. haha. with them around we dance in peace and no idiot comes trying. girls are really disadvantaged in such cases. well, at least i know not to get myself intoxicated and drunk. honestly. i dont know what those girls are thinking of. esp without anybody they can trust ard them. really. well, irritating ppl came over. loads and loads. st smoove it was like the guys to girl ratio was like 10 to one. honestly where are the girls! id rather dance next to girls anytime! i think next day was public holiday so the NS guys looked like they were released from jail. omg. someone tried to talk to me in canto after not suceeding in eng. seriously? do i look like im from hk. and some couples make out there and then and the guys hands go all over but hey man. stick your hands to YOUR girl. omg. then give the "i thought it was you" look. and the girl. stop falling onto me like nothing. ya. im a girl too but still..and i refuse to befriend the foreigners there. call me racist or what but seriously. what do they think they are and where do they think they are in. their actions are unbelievable. go back home. true handsome but you'd be the first if i hit ppl. anyway conclusion. i miss our royale barricade. plus we really couldnt get a taxi later. had to call. and losers trying to hitch our cab. oh my god. so much easier to like just have someone take care of everything. pity the one who wants to do this is someone i dont want doing for me. lifes a paradox. ooh. and thank god for the police. they came into smoove at 415am to catch someone and there was a fight later but finally music resumed. loads of ppl left cos they thought it was closed so honestly the last hr was pure fun cos we had so much space! and noone disturbing. that is so nice compared to the sardines can we were in before. despite everything, we managed to get the losers off our backs and enjoy. it was a night that went wrong correctly i guess. maybe things go better unplanned. i want the police in at like 2am next time to chase ppl out. yay!

realised my blog is rather bimbotic. haha. cant be helped. its girl talk. and thats till today.

2007-12-11T21:37:00.000-08:00

Just realised i havent blogged about my 20th birthday! i have to! haha.

dont know why but this year it seems such a heavy and burdened year for my birthday to pass. not only the exams. true.. i quote dawn "ship tech may not be the best present". but still.. there were many other things that made this year seem more serious.. more things to think about and not as carefree as before. those around me i'm sure felt the same. pressure was crushing. situations werent what we wanted. things didnt turn out the way we thought and people too. my 20th bdae was my fullest birthday. serious. i ate lunch with the girls at JP for lunch. pizza hut and bubble tea.we had such a laugh over vib______. hahaha. shall not spell. kenneth is getting worse over such jokes. i think its in born in him man. and he calls me tiger sis. haha insists that i kicked him till blue black. then again. only believe 30 percent of what he says. haha. then dinner with human at JP again delifrance and the after bites at the pasar malam coconut juice and takopachi etc..before we went back. haha. thanks to kaka for her cookies!

thanks human for coming out to have dinner with me regardless of the spanish exam u have the next day. u always doing what i want to do. getting what i want to have. ever since primary 5. and bringing it to me. (i dont think i bullied u in p1 right.) to human..im very lucky for u to be within 100m of me. or is it 200m. anyway a bus stop away. im determined to outgrow you mentally one day. and it will be me to take care of u. =) =) =) im lucky a coconut somehow miraculously appeared in my life.

it was such a simple and happy day. and for the first time happy birthday was shouted at me. bz gave me such a scare. yj wanted to do it again and he was dissapointed he had no such effect. and for the first time i saw birthday wishes that sounded so serious and hopeful. maybe that explains why i felt so strongly that growing up is a must this year. i quote from someone " there is a lot in this world for you to see learn and experience." thats is very true. if life is a rollercoaster ride. i want mine to be one with 360 degrees swivel turn! haha. for those who didnt see me their smses were loads of laughs. so turning 20 has more effect on others around me than it has to me actually. haha. seems i influence ppl ard me quite a lot. hahaha. people seem so happy that im turning 20 and that im supposed to grow up. yes i will! i will! on this jap trip the people were guessing me to be 16 or 18. haha. i'm 20. looks may decieve but really i feel 20. i can no longer understand the feelings or actions of the 18s although i admit i used to do exactly what they did last time. haha.

somehow this year nothing spectacular happenned. nothing shocking to me.. but somehow i feel it was a sincere birthday. thank you every out there. by just remembering. =)

and yes. LOU IS 20 NOW!

2007-12-08T03:23:00.000-08:00

Hello world! this is a very special post cos this is currently being done in hokkaido, japan in a town called hakkodate. haha. we had to take 3 hrs of train from chitose here. went on a cable car today up to the mountain. fab cable car today up to the mountain. fab night view. dada! where is the camera! and today i took a picture sitting in the snow that looks like winnie the pooh. dawn is supposed to like me more now. haha. cant wait for all of us to come back.. tk in thailand. dawn in hk.

weather is freezing my toes off but somehow i enjoy the cold and quietness. as i step outside the snow along the lakes and around the mountains i realise how lucky i am. its wonderful to wake up in the land where it looks as if u can shoot the lion and the wardrobe movie in it. and where the trees and woods look so lovely that its truely a winter wonderland. i feel at peace. simply by looking at the snow and sitting in the cafe sipping hot coffee. they joke and call me the SIA girl. maybe. but ive always thought my world is out there although my heart is home where it belongs at 38 westlake avenue.

we have been shopping and shopping here. maybe its the mindset that shopping here. maybe its the mindset that we wont be here next year this time again so we just keep buying. i love postful the happy neighbourhood shopping centre and rera the outlet mall with all the hippest things at good prices. ive bought 4 boots here till today. haha. but the things here at good prices. haha. but the things here esp the clothes and shoes are getting smaller and smaller. like every year the jeans and boots get tighter! like the people here have such skinny thighs. omg! thank god i can still fit. haha. although ive felt i havent bought a lot this time cos i stopped myself from getting similar things that i already have still its a lot. we have to cart trolleys from the lobby to our hotel room. that tells it all. i now have nicer winter wear than summer wear. how ironic.

some teacher from singapore here commented that she thought i was schooling overseas and not in singapore. aust? haha. nope im a local kid from NTU MARITIME studies. she thinks im one who goes against the traditional mindset of nerds that study hard that go to uni. haha. actually come to think of it we all are. i mean look at us in MS and the rest of the people like in engineering. we have A LIFE! haha.

winter makes u eat so much and get full so much faster. im now sleepy. ciao!

2007-11-23T11:57:00.000-08:00

lotsa things have happened but i think no matter what we are here for each other.

Happy bdae TK! we went to surprise her. Tim got me karen dada. Link w ah heng and dawn. i so felt like clubbin in his car. duno why. i think i go crazy at night. haha. She was so surprised she cried. and i nearly burnt my house when the microwave caught fire when i tried to make her cornflake cookies. fine i realise i dont even know what can be put in the microwave and what cannot. anyway we took lots of pics at her blk. but the silly not pro photographers got no good shots cos all was blur. tell me abt it. haha.

i feel so relieved we went to find her cos my heart just melted when she said something. which i shall not repeat here. nearly cried too. but what i can say is u selfish asshole. right. but we went for supper later near beauty world. nice food really prata naan satay. and everyone had a good laugh. link is a close to perfect entertainer. haha. and suddenly. i was kinda surprised seeing him. but this is getting bad. i dunno why but i feel so. i hope things dont turn ugly. ironic when u see the diff in attitude in both pairs. ones trying so hard. one doesnt give a damn. why!

saw someone beat up his gf and went over. luckily tim was with us. somehow no matter how much they say i am brave i still feel safer with a guy. esp when facing a violent indian guy. oh man i cant say enuff how much i wanted to beat him. she was crying so hard. so much blood. shes one year older than him. they are so young. like 15 16. and obviously mismatched yet still stick tgther. and his reason for hitting her so hard is so invalid. and she wont tell her parents. i hope shes fine. i told him not to hit her again. tim said i looked like i wanted to hit him and fight when i said that. wanted to really but wouldnt cos really guys always can outfight girls in terms of energy. i hate guys who hit girls. what is the world coming too. why are guys turning into monsters.

nice to have my whole family back with me. seems nice to have everyone ard. i like it that way. makes up for all the unhappy things i see outside somehow. that day ys did a game of fortune telling for me. to the first. we are seperated by many many things. duh. we are in so diff worlds. to the second, his heart is with me and so is mine with him but our person's are away from each other and most imptly. out hearts dont follow our persons. as in mine is not with me his not with him. haha. true. i dont know where my heart is. haha. what will be will be.

i want to be be a happy girl. i want everyone ard me to be happy. happiness can u hear me calling.

2007-11-21T05:56:00.000-08:00

nobody seems happy nowadays. or even if they seem so its just to make themselves seem happy to others and themselves but then when its nightfall and they are alone everything that has gone wrong and will go wrong comes creeping back into their minds and the viscious cycle starts. but i guess the numbing is just to get us thru for now. i need to numb too. but the thing is i cant go anywhere;sad. someone just asked me to st james but i know that will tire me out totally. i need to let go. i actually wanna become someone else for a day.

2007-11-10T21:05:00.001-08:00

just wanted to talk a bit before the cruel exams start. hard to concentrate really. esp with all the stuff that they are still teaching and CANNOT FINISH YET STILL WANT TO TEST US ON!

okay. been seeing quite a lot of unhappiness going on recently. emotionally, rationally.. and everything. im surprised at my still rather rational mood now. sometimes i envy people who have it all yet in the end i feel the saddest for them when they lose it or it leaves turning out to shatter a dream. makes me wonder sometimes why try. but there is hope that things will turn out good and last happily ever after. right? i wish for everyone to be happy. to smile everyday. and that would make me very happy too.

everyone's trying to think of someone for me. they're all very nice but it just doesnt feel that way. actually i dont know what to feel. funny eh. but no time for this now. anyway not up to me. made me think of someone saying to me: you have too much girls in your heart and no space for guys. haha.

want to shop shop and shop. i want skinnies in every colour. ha. and why do i have to spend my 20th birthday doing physics in the early morning! i want to party away till 12am to spend my last few hours of 19th brainlessly doing things i dont have to take responsibility for. but apparently no. i have to memorise how the four stroke engine works. how cool is that.

2007-11-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

Moved into hall again. worried abt leaving the house empty but its a period where i gotta do what i have to. NOt bad really as in not as bad as i imagined. things have changed but i guess i just have to face hall with a different attitude now. plus maybe i no longer so called social in hall and just take it as a place to sleep when im tired and to do stuff quietly. and my room at the 6th floor is so cold when u switch on the ceiling fan at night! quite ok with the new conditions and roomie so far really.

that day i took my bro's gf out for their 3rd yr anniversary. quite fun. haha we ate a lot and i gave her the tigger bouquet i had to prepare for. It was so cute it was worth every ounce the effort. kudos to hy actually. she wrapped it. so sweet. chuck owes me loads. haha. honestly i would have felt very sad if i were her spending the day alone. u know if nothing happened today would have been my one year anniversary too. but then somethings are better let go and missed or remembered than holding on miserably to. sometimes i wonder what would have happened if i gave in. my dear sweet pair is having problems. i wish them happiness. cos they mirror me and him. i hope they will pull thru.

quizzes and quizzes. damn maths la.stressed.mum called from spain. loads on how nice the clothes and boots are. need i speak of my incessant envy!

everyone likes to think theres something going on with someone else and me.seriously. today alone i can count 3 diff ppl alrdy. and i dont mean the ppl who talk abt me but the ppl and so called targets said to be with/maybe with me. no there issnt. i just warm up easily to people and hence can brudder or sista with anyone. no there is no one who can melt my heart yet.

today is the first. 2 weeks to exams. a month to the end. damn saturated with nothing. i need the streets and orchard. and my honey milk bubble tea.

2007-10-27T06:06:00.000-07:00

everythings stressing me out. sighs. at last i got offered my hall again. hall 3. everything seems so familiar yet so strange. its a feeling i cant describe. everything seems the same but the people there have changed. of course. what can i say. out of all the girls in my block. only 2 are still there. not to mention only ys is left there of my entire course. i used to like going to 3c so much for fun but now that iam an actual occupant there i miss my old block in the corner so so so much. my room that faces the hill and has birds chirping. and the room that does not have the direct sunlight shining in like this one. and of course my room mate. seriously i have so much mixed feelings abt moving back. i dont know when to move in now that my parents are away. to be honest i dont think i would have taken it if not for the fact that i wouldnt know what my timetable would be next sem. If i would have an 830 class. If not i would really prefer staying at home. lifes a paradox. i spent so much time waiting for an offer and now..

actually home alone isnt at bad as i thought. in fact so many people are bringing me food that i think i have more than enough. perhaps everyone knows i dont like to be alone so everyone is coming and that makes me more busy and entertained than normal. went to karen's house for dinner. her mum was so nice to ask me over since she heard i was alone. haha her whole family calls me princess. actually iam not la. haha. maybe just picky. bad habit i know.

hoping that i'll fit in well with my NEW room mate and everythings gonna be fine cos its a busy period now and i dont think i have the mood for unhappy stuff. stats and maths is driving me mad really. id honestly do millions of thousand word essays. speaking of which these irritate me so to the extent i cant even have patience for french.

ooh forgot to say that i got the Front Desk position for my US work and travel job. Its in Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming USA. they say its 4 times the area of singapore! be prepared to see my bright smile at the counter. no tips i think but well its a gd experience! everyone else i know will be in the kitchen. so i hope i meet interesting ppl there to keep me entertained. haha.

everythings just gonna turn out fine. =) i miss my whole family. who are now in casablanca moving to spain and melbourne respectively.

2007-10-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

home alone day one today. i started feeling sad yday night alrdy. not to mention today. parents off to middle east spain and europe for abt a month. and now big girls dont cry is playing on the radio. so true.

lotsa things have been happening though its supposed to be exams and im supposed to be studying. haha. went for supper on sat with timothy and karen. karen is getting cranky nowadays. refused to go home after geylang and so we went to the esplanade. reminded me of hall 3 and supper outings. haha.talked to her mother too. haha. she asked me to go to her hse so she could make bread for me cos she wants to see me. haha. reminded me of dada's mother tickling my chin like a kid that day when i went to her hse for raya. delicious food. dawn u missed out! haha. ooh back to esplanade..seriously that was the first time i saw the port so bustling with activities. at like what 2am? makes me feel kinda happy that i'll be there one day. and karen was happily spilling the beans on whatever embarrassing things i did that night. emm. ok lets just laugh it off. why cant anyone get over the fact that im slow at plate washing! but really the plates are damn clean ok. haha.

and on fri we went to timbre. met up with pri sch frens. before that went to bugis to shop for stuff for them. i wanted to buy so much stuff but had simply no time! and i think we went to timbre too early. i mean the band starts at 1030. who goes at 830. but well good thing is we didnt have to q. mich was so into the singer. whats his name? ngak. i think. haha. when we sent in a guess for how much their guitar costs i wrote. from mich. who says hi. haha. shes lucky i dint put her hp no in. haha. but he didnt give any response anyway. later when we left saw him at the entrance. seriously he looks v old. i guessed 24 from the seats we were at but later i think 29. haha. but the thing is i seem to have a thing for 987fm after that night.

suddenly feel like sitting at the esplanade and falling asleep there. while looking at the bright port. when i have a million things to do.

2007-10-17T06:10:00.000-07:00

somehow i have this inherrent dislike to rich boys who were born with a silver spoon in their mouth and who just drive a lexus out of nowhere since its daddy's gift . those who dont have to work for anything and maintain that "i have it all" attitude. seriously. so what. right. so u impress by signing daily bills of a few thousand bucks at clubs for drinks. and im supposed to wow at the non chalent-cy at which u spend. and crash all your luxury cars. BM after merz. lets see. i dont. i am rather more impressed at those who try hard to make life better for their parents and all at home and work their way up and being contented at the same time. not that i have anything against being rich. its the attitude. you idiot. iam not a bimbo girl waiting to marry into a rich family and sit to be a tai tai. that is WHAT you DONT get.

2007-10-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

bOo. finally rest time again. so tired these days. getting sick of driving. the PIE seems never ending. plus the fact that i think i got snapped by the stupid speed cam for my first time. seriously. who drives at 80. no one except maybe an 80 yr old old granny.

jen used to say i hv a low EQ. i didnt think so. now yes cos i realise moods show on my face regardless of if i want it to or not and v badly sometimes. sigh. sometimes maybe during those times its better if i was left alone. its like that it hink cos norm im quite easily tickled and made v happy so i guess the other side applies too.

jay's new album is coming. his pure innocent simple side in the past has transformed into this showy obsessive totally cannot accept any criticism superstar. I miss him in the past. is this what fame does to a person? its like he now thinks he holds the passport to do anything he wants and disregard anyone he likes.

i want to do so many things with so little time. hee. ooh i hv yet to say how i noticed how falling in love changes a person. haha. makes me think abt zara boy. zara boy looks yummy-lious but seriously i think i wouldnt want to date him. haha. i read abt a sentence "guys think girls want to be a sold a dream". but all we want is reality. sometimes u look at a person and u think they have it all when really why does the worst have to happen to them. to her, i wish her happiness. and thats my love of the day thought. haha.

2007-10-07T03:15:00.000-07:00

irritating! very irritating. some people just dont get it that its over. ugh ugh ugh whining and being all emo is not going to work nor is a pathetic attempt to make me feel pity and guilt gg to. this is only gg to reemphasize the fact that it will never work. isnt this always the paradox in life? the things that u want to happen dont and those u want to avoid just keep happening. i have a piece of advice for someone. dont waste time on someone who isnt willing to spend time on you. serious. worst still when the only thing u can do is nag whine stick to and pester. it would be entirely diff if it was understanding being there and sacrificing which YOU THINK you are doing but no No NO. things happen for a reason.

2007-09-28T09:57:00.001-07:00

legs are aching from last night. the night we went to mos. i think the whole world went crazy that day. finally managed to get more girls to come aka me linda dawn and karen but only me and karen stayed on, the both of them went home early. so sad! i think the music got better in the end. and the boys. right i emphasize boys. were alrdy so high when they went there. yuansheng, zhenghao, yongjie, victor, terry, bingzong, kailun and kenneth and chez chez. can u imagine the extent in which they go out to self amuse either themselves or us. esp after kai met ppl from his US trip and we went onto the center stage.

1.ys! your hand if it passes by in front of my face somemore and if u poke me one more time!
2.victor! you stop covering my eyes and messing my hair!
3.zh! cannot go down dont go! until no energy cannot get up. haha. and push my head also.
4.bingzong! we girls only never show. if we do u think u can out*dance us? hahaha.
5.kai! forgot what u did but surely constituted an assault like them. haha.

haha. and as usual there was a fight. the guy touched someones gf. same old story. he was too high la. climbed onto table. ooh the draft beer was nice. linda asked if anyone asked us to drink more. seriously the way we were surrounded by the guys with us i think no other guy would or rather could come near. haha. was rather reluctant to go back later. realise we girls have better stamina than guys considering i was out all day esp w xuan in k. haha. and i was late somemore. all mitchelle's fault really. u watch out. haha.

ooh the taxi uncle said i was under 16 underaged. very funny. really. haha. i think maybe victor just looked old next to me la.

2007-09-25T09:34:00.000-07:00

realised i dont like people to control my time. i prefer to do what i like. yet maybe it depends on who. yet there are always responsibilities and things to do tht u know although u hate to do will result in misery and regret when neglected.

that day i was scolding someone for not knowing how lucky they are to have people to care. maybe i should look out myself too.

my roomie labels me a lifestyle idiot. literally translated from chinese. it probably relates to the fact that i dont handle much stuff myself. apparently it shows when i wash things ever so slowly and have little knowledge of what normal people know of housekeeping and stuff. but she knows im willing to be one as long as there are people to look after this very happy lifestyle idiot. haha. and this irritates her v much esp that one person who might be willing to. hahaha.

and her observation of ppl makes me think : is it becos i like those ppl so i am willing to give them chances and find excuses for their behaviours yet the other who see them wont be bothered at all. because they are really nice to me. really. sometimes when u get along with people nothing else ought to matter right. if friends were choosy that would spell the end right.

accd to her. out of 100 people know i can get along with 99 and they would like me but there is this one out of the 100 who would like to kill me. seriously hate me. actually maybe more but normal people know 50 out of a hundred yet none would wanna kill them. food for thought.

today was mooncake festival. i think i havent played with lanterns for so long. and you'd be surprised that those 2-3 yr olds have so much more energy than you a teenager has. omg.

lastly i must top off that i love my queens closet's clothes. not bad for clothes u bought on impluse and online. ha.

2007-09-20T04:26:00.000-07:00

finally all the quizzes for this week are over! at least next week is term break and i get a little teenny wenny bit of rest. haha. so tired these days. so tired of the morning jam too.

and i think ive been spending a lot recently. shall curb my online shopping addiction. and we finally went to IMM yday since there was no tut and elec was cancelled. WhEe!!! haha. must start looking for korean tours since that day we went to the travel fair and i refused to book any tours cos the ppl there were so not nice. like thay were forcing u to book "mentally" and dont have the least patience to ans ur queries properly and pressure u into booking. i dont like that! i believe i can find better deals elsewhere =)

and i realise some people are really very childish. and others though not originally so, are being influenced. no wonder they say a persons company determines his character. a person's character can really only be told thru long times of observations. ha.

2007-09-10T06:20:00.000-07:00

i think ive been very prone to mood swings recently. dunno why. and cant seem to get down to earth to study. been on a polo tee craze recently and striped ones esp. prob after wearing my bro's polo i felt it was so comfy! i am starting to think that guys clothes look better on me. haha. do u think so?

went swimming in the src for the first time on fri since we had 2 hr break. shiok. shuang i tell u. it has been eons since i enjoyed the sun. i wanna swim more often. but after that i felt so sleepy. ha. having french quiz this week. stressed.

today went out with the girls for dimsum. it was nice. except for some kid screaming and someone's ringtone rang whom i thot was lindas' and asked her to own up only when i realised its not her. haha and she looks sooo demure today. omg. actually only don don linda and kaka came. we ended up playing in the pool of water and taking loads of pics. and also turning loads of stuff at the machines at toysrus. don don still cudnt get the two of her remaining winnies. i got my donut! and linda got her silly but so cute looking frog! haha. im happy i bought my polo tee and shirt from zara. had to go to liat towers to get though.

i suddenly crave for bubble tea.

2007-09-06T05:37:00.000-07:00

ive just seen another example when ppl have only learnt the lesson and learnt to cherish when the things and people they love have and are gone. till it was too late. maybe some people dont know how lucky they are. i hope not to have regrets like that. and thats food for thought. it may seems so casual and obvious but how many people really stop to think abt it.

2007-09-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

i have so much so much to say.

it has been a very long and tiring week. ive been slacking off and not doing my work. i am starting this week! and i tried out for soccer. it was a rainy day and so muddy and stuff. really it was quite fun although i couldnt get the ball the whole time. but anyway i'll try. but the thing is without hall i'll be helpless during training as in too tired and exhaustedcos staying back too late means i can no longer take the car. but it was really fun. i didnt wear the proper soccer BOOTS as they tell me to call it haha and kept sliding down in the mud. well. i had to constantly psycho myself not to be a bimbo and eew that much! i stayed in hall 11 after that in tk's room. went over to don don's till like 1 plus. dead tired and her room is so windy its even colder than my aircon and i fell asleep before u could say whoosh. thanks for adopting tired me tk! i miss hall after seeing all the jcrc rally posters and that of dnd. the girls are having theirs tonight. hope they enjoy!

and i am addicted to online shopping. lets see what we have bought this month. chupa chups charm keychains, donut stud earrings, fan earrings and the customisation of a necklace and earrings on the way, fbt, two dresses, one bag. omg. louise stop shopping. stop! and today i went out w my auntie and she paid for everything! i feel so bad. she wouldnt let me pay for a thing. i shall not express my will or liking in anything else beside her ever again. the cashiers just listen to her when they hear her say im her auntie! omg omg omg. i feel so so so so so bad. i think it was a few hundred. i feel so bad. how can i do something.

and and and that day we went to jp for lunch and didnt end up gg back for stats. something happened at the carpark. made me quite sad. but i'll take it as a lesson to be learnt. and i hope i can let it go.

im starting jap where i left off last time again tml. its been put off for too long but better than forgetting it totally ya. hard to find time to match timetable. so goes for dance. i miss it like hell esp when i saw yr today. shes still dancing and so is everyone.sighs. hope i can juggle french and jap. its all kl's fault for slacking away during french cos he wants to s/u. his cap i will decide to give him back anot.

yday i came back from comex and watching ratatouille with jeff. arrived there like an hr late. bought a webcam from there. thanks to cxy who helped me check it out and bargain. he was like this is my younger sister. student no money cheaper la. then the guy was like how can, she is older than me. then he said shes 16. the guy said how can im 16. omg i nearly luffed to death; really the way the guys see me is really hilarious. they think im so young but the fact is thats cos they are 22. when a 16 sees me they obviously wont think so! so embarrassing. ratatouille was so cute. i screamed in anxiousness during one scene and the whole cinema was laughing. and i finally got to my sugarbunnies machine. jp's one was out of stock. i didnt get the main two bunnies the first two times round and luckily before we left jeff turned for me and i got shirousa! the white one dada likes to illtreat! haha. and rushing for the last bus home was definitely not fun!

jen says im dressing like a guy again and looking ah beng. LOL. seriously? haha. and ppl are being concerned abt my dating status suddenly. i think too many ppl got attached during the hols la. relax la. id rather have someone that i like more than the person to like me more than i like him ya. im not choosy but not anyhow. haha.

cant wait for all my online orders to come!

haha and something i thought was gone and dissappointed in came up again! woo hoo! yay! and to someone, all i can say is that what will be will be.

im suddenly very thankful for all the ppl who care for me/ are nice to me/ love me. really. someone once commented that they'd die to be in my shoes cos of the girls who love me. haha. thats cos im a girL TOO! but my life would not be what it was if not for the ppl mentioned. thanks dears everybody who are nice to me. u girls and guys may not know it but every little thing u all do add up and it forms a rainbow at the end of the day for me and the wheels to spin in place. i am in a way lucky.

i hope everyone ard me will be as happy as they are forever. sounds cheesy eh. ha.

2007-08-26T09:57:00.000-07:00

i realised something. last time i used to think that clever or rather sensible girls wouldnt ask questions that they wouldnt want to know the answers to even if they are dying to know in case they would be disappointed. but now i realise its not the sensibility that controls you. its the extent to which u care which will erase your sanity. and sad to say i have fallen into that category. face up to reality. indifference is not actually maturity. maturity should be understanding facing it and getting over or on with it.

2007-08-25T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yongjie... says:
thats nice to know
Yongjie... says:
glad u decided to spare my life
Lou says:
ha. how many times do i have to reemphasize the fact that im not violent.
Yongjie... says:
erm..
Yongjie... says:
thats like a drunk driver telling the traffic police he is not drunk

2007-08-16T05:15:00.000-07:00

its the second week of sch. ive been either driving to sch these days or asking my mum to fetch. actually she insisted cos she wants to use the car. ha. and im gg home everyday on time. no longer really loitering the shopping malls. i think my life has become very scheduled cos im staying home. i like sleep earlier. so much more than the late nights at hall and i make sure i get up for class too. there's no lying in bed till no tml cos no one wakes me up and i dont bother. maybe no hall is good. but im really exhausted everyday. BUT the surprising thing is i havent slept in class yet. at all. isnt that a wow. but i miss hall. ibg is starting and i cant play. i look at my hall tee and feel sad.

online shopping is so addictive and i have to keep telling myself to control myself. bought those scissors that are spec meant for hair cutting today and cut my own fringe. really a good scissors works wonders. i want to join sports. but now i dont have hall the trainings are till so late. sigh. the gang was laughing at headlights. just cos of my mafia tee. argh!

and some idiot dropped my elec - intro to children's lit- and the class had to be cancelled. damn. i loved it though we only had one lesson. the things behind nursery rhymes surprise you so much. like they are actually about the political situation then and the wars. humpty dumpty was a cannon that fell during the war. the crooked man was king charles 1 and his war between scotland and england. then the 3 blind mice and the farmers wife refers to some officials and the queen who ordered them to death. now who dares to say again that nursery rhymes are silly. i need my electives which fit my timetable.

2007-08-11T06:41:00.000-07:00

busy first week of sch. been gg out like its still the hols. yday went out wif kcm to get something and we ended up getting everything we could for ourselves. bag. lotsa ms little tees - i got miss little sunshine and chatterbox too. and also a tee that said - insured by mafia. u beat me, we beat u. muahaha. and a carousel necklace that i so adore and earrings. more to come. ha.

and today went to see 881. omg its really quite good. kudos to them. its so not street standard. yups. except that the audience was like all 50 and above. ha. im still hoping for hall cos im asking ppl to ask ard and also hoping the balloting will come thru. after all, i really do miss hall. maybe thats the prob. i alrdy treated it like my second home. with everyone there too. sigh.

2007-08-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

it was the first and second day of sch for us these days. i cant really believe my energy level is actually of such a low tolerance rate. serious and thats when i havent turned 20. by not staying in hall and having to go back and forth kills me. it just does. i think im escaping reality by refusing to go there by public transport alone. mon had no sch. tues mum fetched. wed i drove. just took the car cos i was running late. and thats when it dawned upon me. half an hr gets me to sch with all the time in the world to buy mac's muffin breakfast in the past when i was in hall but now it only gets me there on time and thats when i drive. god knows what will happen to me. i know it sounds bratty and spoilt but really. someone told me id like to see u take public transport one day. im dying. when i got home it was like i dropped dead on the bed and fell asleep. and thats a day with only 3 hrs class without any tutorials. omg and i needed at least an hr to wake up again. i really hope i get hall. no matter which one. saw ocm today.well ive moved on. ya except wanted to kill the ppl who say im gg to hall when i need to walk to the freaking bus stop or whatever to get home. esp since i know someone who got in by doing nothing excpet signing up with the navy. and at MY HALL. HALL 3. omg. even seeing rush hr 3 with dee today didnt seem to lighten up my mood. its like a burden on me. i dont know what i need to do to solve this. think louise think.

2007-08-06T05:38:00.000-07:00

tml sch is starting. i dont want a sucky timetable cos i dont have hall now. i still cant take that harsh cruel fact. omg. today went to look for bks with meowie. and ronnie is hilarious. i still like to disturb ppl la. the poor house elf here is so tired these days. i think im getting old.

2007-08-03T10:21:00.000-07:00

i dunno why but when i look at her i feel that everything has changed and that we are two diff persons now. however i feel that deep down she is still the same as before just yet the surface for show and necessity. i dont know. no matter what. she will always remain dear to me.

2007-08-01T09:34:00.000-07:00

okay sch is reopening. and im almost concluding my summer hols.

1. i want my hostel so so so much. more than anything. i cant stand sch without my hall and my ROOM MATE. am at a TOTAL loss on what to do.

2. summer passed like that in a wink. ive seen the best and worst of the outside in these days comparing them side by side. as in europe and china. conclusion. if u dont set ur hopes too high u'll be fine. learn how to bypass some things. not everywhere is singapore.

3. i wanna study harder next sem! students are supposed to study.

4. surprising thing. ive been in here locally for so little of the time that ive done my fav things only a few times this whole summer of 3 full months. club and k.

5. i wanna do muay thai when sch reopens. and thats not cooking. thats boxing. ive decided to spend my time next time no longer shopping all the time. after all i bought stuff in europe to last me a year i think.

and lastly i think u wont be seeing my sf this time round. maybe next haha.

2007-07-26T22:01:00.001-07:00

okay. so a week of pure entertaining went on. was just so busy meeting everyone whom ive wanted to meet and wanted to meet me cos i havent seen them for so long. it was so tiring.

and on wed i went to zouk. i think mambo has really cleaned up their act really. the songs are really happy cheery mambo songs now compared to those commercialised mambo songs last time. its more fun to dance to now..except for the transvestites on the podium. they were the bunch from mos. ugh. and why is it so crowded. seems to me it wasnt so crowded when we went during sch time. phuture was like us in a sardine can. although smoking is now banned and the air seems cleaner i dunno why i miss the smoke. it seems incomplete with it. haha. and umm i met someone whom i didnt expect to see there. shudders. shudders shudders. and i heard "i hate my heart for loving you". sy will know what im talking abt. the butt act. anyway supper at that five star chicken rice place was so bad. the guy halfway thru the time didnt get what we wanted and served the wrong things the other half of the time. man. get a life.

2007-07-21T07:28:00.000-07:00

i dunno why but i feel very blessed and contented. really. ya my lifes not perfect crystal like but its as good as anything can get. not to flaunt but i think iam contented. maybe its very impt to be contented. i wish everything stays the way it is. i am one happy girl. intrinsically.

2007-07-17T10:54:00.000-07:00

Lyrics: Way Back Into Love from Music and the Lyrics

Cora:I’ve been living with a shadow overhead
I’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I’ve been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move on

Alex:I’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I’ve been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

Chorus: [Both]All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love Oh oh oh

Cora:I’ve been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I’ve been searching but I just don’t see the signs
I know that it’s out there
There’s got to be something for my soul somewhere

Alex:I’ve been looking for someone to shed some light
Not just somebody just to get me throught the night
I could use some direction
And I’m open to your suggestions

Chorus: [Both]All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me in the end

Cora:There are moments when I don’t know if it’s real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

Both:All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can’t make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I’m hoping you’ll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I’ll be there for you in the end

2007-07-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

bravery is when u truly can let go and not to hang onto things. and do what u want to although u know there are chances of failure. really. and i think i have begun to start doing that cos really when u look back 50 years later in life you wudnt want to to regret anything and start the " what if i had..." kinda stuff.

2007-07-16T09:58:00.001-07:00

seeing that name again reminds me of many things. those that i did last time. to the extent that i did. and to the extent that only now and now finally. that it happens back.but somehow i dont feel much anymore. i grow up u know.

2007-07-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

its quite funny how ppl try to match make me thru mutual frens. haha. i know my frens mean well but its quite embarassing leh. haha. i know its the safest way and prob the best since i wont prob get into any trouble but somehow i always think this kind of stuff is always supposed to depend on fate.. haha. we'll see.

2007-07-15T11:57:00.001-07:00

one can only deal with one at one time. two is alrdy too much for me not to mention the unwanted third one. i must think of ways to get rid of the third one.

2007-07-15T09:17:00.001-07:00

okay the idiot is freakin me out. bloody stalker. omg omg omg. i need the sf. lets hope. lets hope.

2007-07-14T00:02:00.001-07:00

actually ppl shouldnt keep thinking of the past. that constitutes as unwanted emotional baggage esp if its really not worth it. life goes on and it should only be getting better and better. only happy memories should remain. i hope to only rmb things that will make me smile or laugh when i think of them. yups.

2007-07-13T10:02:00.001-07:00

i have a bad premonition. lets hope it wont come true.

2007-07-12T10:05:00.000-07:00

Yongjie... says: but i think got one more player more suitable for u
lou says: why he join liverpool then everybody like him liao
lou says: he last time not that likable meh
Yongjie... says: cos he made the right choice
Yongjie... says: u can look for tevez
Yongjie... says: he looks more compatible wif u...
lou says: whos that
Yongjie... says: argentine..
Yongjie... says: u can ask hu ever hu introduced u to torres
Yongjie... says: he will tell u tevez is more suitable for u
lou says: da shu!
lou says: that guy is so NOT MY KIND
lou says: not cute lou says: not cute at all!
Yongjie... says: haha... i think look like u lehz
lou says: he looks so old despite being 21 lo.
Yongjie... says: u got Fu qi xiang wif him
lou says: DA SHU!
lou says: where got
lou says: i dont look like him lo
lou says: cant u choose a cuter one
Yongjie... says: no mehz... i can spot the resemblance
lou says: 'i looking for little prince lo
lou says: like where
lou says: tell me tell me
lou says: i dont think anyone will agree
Yongjie... says: u dun believe nex time u bring a photo of tevez to sch lo
Yongjie... says: confirm everybody say u look like him one
lou says: da shu. im so gonna kill u before i ever do that lo.
lou says: when will i look like him.
lou says: he looks like ou han sheng- ou di.
lou says: u know who?
Yongjie... says: ya i know
Yongjie... says: haaaaaa
Yongjie... says: but i still think look like u more
lou says: stupid da shu! so u think ppl who look compatible with me dont have the cute look la. lou says: idiot.
Yongjie... says: hard to imagine la...
Yongjie... says: i cannot lie
Yongjie... says: hahahaaaa
lou says: poor da shu. i hate to imagine da sao.
Yongjie... says: confirm is zai one
Yongjie... says: dun need to say lou says: da shu i really hope so.
lou says: serious. really. that u will find her.
Yongjie... says: y do u need to say until like it will be painstakingly hard..
lou says: honestly da shu. jokes aside. i think the right one for da shu is hard to find. the perfect fit is hard to find.
lou says: will have one la. dont worry.
Yongjie... says: y su say until so serious/
Yongjie... says: i got so jialat mehz lou says: not u jialat
lou says: da shu is a good guy
lou says: but hard la. sometimes its not if u jialat or not. but the fitting. is just like clothes leh. nice but not everyone fit.
Yongjie... says: haha
Yongjie... says: dunno u suaning me or praising me
lou says: told u da shu is good guy. l
ou says: sighs.
Yongjie... sent 7/12/2007 11:20 PM: coming from u sounds weird
Yongjie... sent 7/12/2007 11:20 PM: haha
Yongjie... sent 7/12/2007 11:20 PM: but i will gladly accept any praises that comes my way

2007-07-12T07:30:00.000-07:00

we danced today like noone's business. up and down. i need to tough it.

and suddenly im scared. but theres nothing to be right. no sacrifice no victory. i can deal wif it.

and my happy pair is together again so thats cause for relief.

2007-07-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

i hope that all the fairytales ive seen won't fall apart. they were so happy and loving. i pray for them. really. life needs sweetness not pain anymore. i hope they will be happy.

2007-07-10T09:44:00.001-07:00

omg. dey went along with 2 songs without me. pcd and later namie's style. omg. scary. catching up is hard. then i saw something which seemed very familiar but then i tell myself that whats on the surface is not everything and as always theres always another side to the story. just like me. but theres no use compromising. cos theres no second best. only that one.

ShUt Up AnD dRiVe

2007-07-09T09:34:00.001-07:00

riHaNnA

2007-07-09T04:32:00.001-07:00

i just realised that i havent talked about my europe trip. well i will and here goes.

we went to london paris madrid lisbon dublin-ireland wales cork limmerick birmingham bristol frankfurt geneva germany interlaken switzerland.

its like football fever over there and shopping galore. the hometown of zara pull n bear LV and whats not. i dont think words are enuff to describe how much i enjoy shopping there. honestly if not for the baggage constraint i think u wud see more on me. my fav brand now is BERSHKA. simply lovely and cute summer colours. gorgeous. okay i didnt mean to sound bimbo.

the view in interlaken was simply breathtaking. reminded me of japan kitago 7 years ago. time flies to remind me like that. anyway this was after all switzerland. paris and all was nice but without all the mountains and rivers u find that man made things can never rival those works of nature. i hope to go to the top of europe one day. interlaken was just the bottom of it. but then u have to walk up the last quarter of it and i thinki have to work for that very hard . haha. anyway i think i love the place except for the fact that places that have wonderous sights like mountains and rivers are always known to be rural and or course not much shopping involved. that is its only demerit point. oh i forgot to say how much i hate western food there. chinese food sucks there too. i kinda felt glad to be home eating my hawker fare. haha.

3 weeks is too much to say so i shall stop here.

2007-07-09T04:29:00.000-07:00

edc i hate u for forgetting and still looking at me so happy from that stupid chair! snapshot again. arghs. i want my sf. sf. SF! need to get out.

2007-07-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

Jen says i like snapshots of people. a frown or a smile and when i find out deeper iam disappointed. i find too much truth in that which causes my uncertainty. this kinda defeats my "its simple to fall in love with a smile but dangerous to fall in love with a frown" theory. i wonder if i'll ever like a video instead of a snapshot but even myself tells me i cant bear to last a video worth of time. sighs.

2007-06-12T06:15:00.000-07:00

im leaving for europe tml despite me falling sick the day before. had really bad fever and flu till my whole body ached like hell. i think it was cos of the cont late nights when i was away and also back here cos my cousins were here.the doc was even afraid that it was dengue. sigh my head's still giddy now. anyway i got my video cam. yay! i hope i can take down all the beautiful scenery there. wish i have the energy to do what i like and want.

and i miss cuzzy's piggy back. he never got a decent one outta me cos how do u expect me to piggy a 1.86m ard? haha.

and we are now using chairs to dance. omg. quite cute but very dizzy..haha.

and as for the other things.. i dont wanna expect too much. i'll just see la.

2007-06-12T06:11:00.001-07:00

Yongjie... says:
i am a honest, calm and truthful old man
Yongjie... says:
no sarcasm..

who in the right mind would believe that.

2007-06-08T08:07:00.000-07:00

so tiring. i realised that its so hard to bring up kids and teach them to be what u hope they will grow up to be - a good person. the results are out, iam not that happy abt it but well..we'll try harder be smarter and work longer la. ha. but without a hall.. it'll be even more tiring after sch. sighs.

2007-06-06T07:03:00.000-07:00

iam back. and ive heard a lot of things that regardless i want to face anot are being said. before i talk about the happy things i shall vent out all my anger and everything that iam not happy about. because only then i'am able to stop being grouchy. its all about hall and what is happening there to gain entry to stay for the next year and the debating who is worth the place in hall. heard comments and complains for hall stuff esp in sp. i only can say that i did my best and if anything went wrong it was in my giving instructions and not making them clear. i should have made efforts to clarify - that i agree. but for the rest that went wrong is from other people and yes i relied on that too much. the only way to do things well is by yourself. but the thing is iam always on holiday and i cant help it too. that is one thing and problem i cant solve. i want to try for next year as ps to show that i can do it. but now i think ive a harder prob to change people's perception. this problem is i dont think ive done anything wrong in action and need to change. thats what i still am fretting abt. my new resolution for the year will probably to be.. if u cant think of a reason that will shut people up, then that means u have to do it no matter what.

2007-05-22T23:45:00.000-07:00

louise! u bloody liar! dont play alrdy or else u'll be facing what u dont want to face soon enough. u just like the feeling that uve won right. u damn childish la. and i just realised the easiest way to win is just by keeping quiet and looking weak. damn.

2007-05-21T08:58:00.001-07:00

Yongjie... says:
i will refrain from laughing at u for abt 1 day in sch nex sem...

meanie!!!!

2007-05-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

they always tell me dont play. sy says i overestimate my ability in defense. i think i can hold but in fact i cant and will lose sooner or later. dory says dont because that person is crazier than u are. vn says no cos that person is willing to put more at risk than u are.

on retrospect i seem to have had that mindset all along - that "bring it on" "i dont believe i cant deal with u" mindset. but maybe its true. and the only weakness is i dont believe my weakness.

2007-05-17T10:17:00.000-07:00

many people dont seem like what they are and sometimes it makes me believe the most flirtatious of guys are actually the most devoted just that u dont know and the most self claimed devoted ones are just pure liars and out to gain people's pity. its even more touching when u find out what he has done without "using a loudhailer" telling everyone how grateful you should be since he did so much for you. and that is a penny for thought.

2007-05-14T10:11:00.000-07:00

Just came back from bangkok. freaking tired and i think iam gg to fall sick. i think my body's really weakened after i started uni. 6 whole days of shopping nearly killed me though yeah i admit i enjoyed every bit of it and eating too heee =)

that day i bought a rose from a little boy selling them and while buying stuff later gave it to another little girl tending the stall. that rose..although was bought by me myself and less than 5 mins later given away.. but i think that it held more meaning than any other flower that i have recieved be it vday my bday or what cos i'll always rmb how happy i felt when the little boy gave me the flower. so if anyone wants to make me that happy.. well.. try beating that little boy's smile although he cant speak a word of english.

sometimes i need to have that little courage to go for what i want. people tell me i have many sides to my character. i think so and it depends who u are to see which side. ive given it much thought. life's to be happy right. nothing tops the guts to call ocm so if i could do that..whats the problem with this one. ya and i have 3 more to deal with.

did i mention. i love my family. okay a bit old fashioned. shall not elaborate. haha.

and i resign to my fate of being a part time bimbo.

2007-05-09T00:51:00.000-07:00

I DONT LOOK LIKE AN AH LIAN or a jpop princess! i refuse to. and i refuse to be labelled bimbo either. i think being labelled kiddie is better than that. haha. bored of shopping and stuff so soon. like barely a wk after exams. guess ive been so busy for so long that its weird not to for now. thank god iam leaving for bangkok later. what can i do for these 3 mths.. hmm.. have to find someting to do. i wanna learn thai boxing. haha. and wat will be will be. so we'll just let things be. i miss hall u know. sometimes they call and ask me go out but after that i cant go back to hall!!!!!!! and not home either or i'll so get slaughtered. dory says ive grown up esp in my thinking. i think so too.

2007-05-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

the dangerous things are not things that happen "BOOM" in front of you..but those that creep in slowly and that u find out unaware suddenly at that moment just before u fall asleep.

and being the super duper undecisive me. 100 percent is spilt.

u want this one. but there is every single thing except that one. and u also like that other one somewhere else. damn. and those that just keep pushing themselves in front of u.

if opposites attract then why do opposites have to clash in the very end? i cant imagine. kids ought to stick to kids right? i dunno. really.

2007-04-27T08:40:00.000-07:00

FINALLY..exams are over and its play time. some were ok some were disastrous but whatever, its just over.

been so tiring. i wonder if its cos ive been waiting so long for this that i cudnt stand not doing anything once its over. went out right after that then later came back only to end up in KTV with hall guys and later supper at railwaymall. KTV. damn.. i was the only girl and noone absolutely noone sings S.H.E with me. and my voice very kiddie meh. and the milk tea caused like everyone to have the runs. haha. came back hall at 5am. only to wake up at 8 for breakfast then finally home to sleep then BBQ at tuntun's place. yj and zh went into the pool. ken nearly got dragged. and i got splashed with 7up. so much for relentlessness to girls. and zh! i'am gg to rmb ur sabo during 007 bang to make me drink lo. ha. think we were so noisy that we got complained and the security guard had to come over. and no lo. none of us got wasted like last time and i didnt walk in straight up to get carried out wasted! yj! ur the one. haha. and my legs are like jelly from all the stretching. yups now i feel all beaten up.

and there are no nice phone models for me to change! i want a new phone.
so many things so little time. waiting! haha

2007-04-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

more and more papers to go. i never thought id be sad for exams but good grades are contagious and when u get better u just cant stand the thought of going down. its an ego problem.

and sometimes i just want to be alone. or to be with those whom i want. those whom i am not interested in i just dont have the patience to entertain you, but some people dont get the hint. i might be extremely in the mood when iam with my frens but then its cos i like them and if u dont fall in that category then dont assume i'll be the same to u.

ppl just cant read me can they. and i thought my moods were always displayed on my face.

2007-04-14T07:58:00.000-07:00

okay its time for exams and ive finally got over the worst time of my semester. namely spending time in adm from 1130am t0 230am then 430pm to 330am two days in a row. even without air con and ventilation. you can so die in the darkroom. although photography gave me lots of extra stress and work but i dont think i regret any bit of it at all. ive learnt alot from there not only skills but perspective.

but the thing that was most cutting wasnt that. it was what i heard frm her. seriously it was only then and there that i knew why she was friends with her for so long. i used to wonder why since i saw no similarities between them but now i know why. Its in thinking of that anybody that behaves in a way that she cannot comprehend is impossible and in other words "different". I know what she says is to some extent correct but cant she understand that i just want to be who i want to be. I know that nothing can force me to change but myself so if thats the case then nothing will help. So then why cant you give me a break. At that time could you not tell that i wasnt in the mental capacity for that. Perhaps this is why the better of friends you are the more it hurts because i know you said that for my own good. i dont know. maybe it was the timing. Maybe its my character but cant u tell that since ive lived like that for the past nearing twenty years then its a hint that i go that way? and dont u think my other frens feel that way. well either they dont or they dont show it. thats what are friendships. accepting for who they are, not trying to change someone. I really know u mean well but before i myself can accept it. its not the time now. you told me u've given up trying but do u know u still are...i give up.

but i must say iam lucky and very lucky to meet the people i do along the way of my life and those who are just so nice. to everyone at pho 215 who made me cry in order for my smile to come out at the end of the day. Thank you. so much.

and later on fri i saw someone else. she was on her way to look for him. i nearly went nuts. he is probably the only person with the ability to stun me that way.

okay. i need to study.

2007-04-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

its quite funny to see how different ppl react. actually i also dont know what i want but sometimes u just meet the wrong ppl for the wrong reasons and hopefully in time to come u'll meet the right one for the right reason. as usual..should i? it kinda depends on my mood which always if not brings me to make the wrong decision.

but right now iam so sick that i only want to recover for the pressing exam period and stuff.. the rest.. doesnt really matter till then.

2007-04-07T10:49:00.000-07:00

as usual your attempt to impress me has been reduced to mere irritation and discontempt. how can u even say part time gf. i pity that girl seriously although i doubt the iq maturity of her to agree to this. its either all or nothing in a relationship and the attempt to make me jealous and realise how good you are is failing miserably. it only further shows the state you are in. save me the heartbroken shit. i have absolutely no energy to entertain you. so if u think ive been gg out so be it (again so what if i do. i do what i please and its none of your business), if u think doing this shows devotion and the ability to handle matters so be it. i mean, get a life. seriously. i refuse to let u get to me. your self delusion ends with you. thats it.

2007-04-05T03:27:00.000-07:00

-谁能凭爱意要富士山私有-

原来我爱上了富士山.

2007-04-05T03:22:00.000-07:00

陈奕迅-富士山下
_________________
拦路雨偏似雪花
饮泣的你冻吗
这风褛我给你磨到有襟花
连调了职也不怕
怎么始终牵挂
苦心选中今天想车你回家
原谅我不再送花
伤口应要结疤
花瓣铺满心里坟场才害怕
如若你非我不嫁
彼此终必火化
一生一世等一天需要代价

谁都只得那双手靠拥抱亦难任你拥有
要拥有必先懂失去怎接受
曾沿着雪路浪游为何为好事泪流
谁能凭爱意要富士山私有
何不把悲哀感觉假设是来自你虚构
试管里找不到它染污眼眸
前尘硬化像石头
随缘地抛下便逃走
我绝不罕有往街里绕过一周我便化乌有

情人节不要说穿只敢抚你发端
这种姿态可会令你更心酸
留在汽车里取暖应该怎么规劝
怎么可以将手腕忍痛划损
人活到几岁算短失恋只有更短
归家需要几里路谁能预算
忘掉我跟你恩怨樱花开了几转
东京之旅一早比一世遥远

靠拥抱亦难为你拥有你还嫌不够
我把这陈年风褛送赠你解咒
_________________________

2007-04-04T04:58:00.000-07:00

got sick. prob when i walked back from cant A at 330am, cos i felt the wind was so cold. anyway the next morn my whole body was aching with a throat that hurt so much. and so we cancelled on lunch. linda came over and made me something nice for the throat. i feel absolutely touched by her! i love xiao yu! anyway after that i slept trying to get up for 330 class but then my head was blasting away. called mum and went home to see the doc. she freaked out. after an injection and some sleep soooo much better so i went to the exhibition in the morn. seems we have a bright future ahead.

quoted :"its thru the unglam work that brings u a glamourous life."
so true. homework and studying is so unglam!

yj is so uncle koh today. and i just found out. hes so afraid of tickles. haha. actually we have such an interesting cohort. haha.

but i still feel very so lethargic. i resisted gg shopping today at marina cos i was simply too tired.

2007-04-01T08:55:00.000-07:00

met up wif dee that day and realised that we're actually quite the same in the sense that we know its wrong but still.. sighs. anyways we had thai! omg freakin gd! esp for someone like me who doesnt eat chilli. sometimes on my blog when i scold ppl its actually that iam scolding myself. cos i know its wrong.

for now i just want to slow down. do work as in homework. and let things fall into place. esp after kl kept laughing at that incident! why am i always into such situations. does my face have the sign "disturb me : i want attention" written all over it?

i dont like being hunted. i like to hunt. haha.

2007-03-27T04:14:00.000-07:00

am i really like someone's little sister who is only sec 2? haha, thats what they say.
but sometimes i'd rather think less maybe then id expect less. cos when u expect too much its a burden. unexpected things are the surprise.

2007-03-25T19:39:00.000-07:00

If i were a perfectionist perhaps it would explain the extreme frustrations in little discrepancies.
But i am not.

its either all or nothing. so what if its illusional. it takes people to believe in miracles for a miracle to happen on them. "u will when u believe"

question is if u see those little hints coming along telling u it wont work out do u think u'd want to continue. i dont know. i dont know how to define what i want anymore cos what i want is not definable.

i want to have this little backup disc that all my frens have in the back of their minds that tells them what to do when something crops up or when a virus creeps in. i dont have one at all.

2007-03-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

its always nerve wrecking when u think u can handle something and in the end u cant. u just feel so disintegrated. i just need to pass tml. no correction today. wheres my fm3. damnit. went imm today with them. fafa went too. haha quite funny la both of them. matt. anyway bought some stuff! haha. and what i wanted to say was i feel so at home now in hall ill be really sad if they dont give me back my room and if my frens wont be here again next sem. h3 is actually quite united esp from ms. but the ppl seem to be dwindling. sighs..

and i think i prefer for ppl to treat me as friends first. even if its a brotherly friend. haha.

2007-03-19T11:42:00.000-07:00

u always like to play with fire. even when the word big bad wolf is written all over u also want to try, great. now u see how u get rid of super glue. last time that one is uhu glue compared to this one. u troublemaker.

2007-03-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

i just realised that no matter how old i grow up to be i still believe in my fairytales. i still want my prince. i dont know if that still means iam still childish but the fact that ppl dont match up seriously frustrates me. i think id rather stay alone if i cant find a prince..cos its either 100 or nothing. and although sometimes i get lead away but then the fact that my prince hasnt appeared will always pop out right there at me so sometimes no use trying to accept second choice or something.

princely conditions..
1. he must make me uneasy when i look at him in one look..haha..and..
2.be able to bully me in a way i cant resist and...
3. in a way that i will listen to him no matter what happens because..
4. i know he has the intellect to decide everything for me .. and
5.he is able to rein in my character.
6. he mustnt go after me first ( i dunno why but i dont like ppl who like me before i like them)
7. he must exude charm of his own yet..
8. he mustnt think that hes damn charming or what.. but..
9. the whole world must think so.
10. i must be able to fall asleep beside him despite everything cos i know..
11. nothing will happen and
12. its always the safest to lie beside him cos
13. he can face up to anything with us together and
14. i want him always by my side!!!! although..
15.he may not talk so much in real life but only to me he does!

Ps this list is not exhaustive. ahaha.
ok wake up princess. hahaahahahahahhahahaha.

2007-03-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

as usual he didnt keep to his word and still is pestering me. now the new stunt is : iam gg to quit sch/someone wants to beat me up/iam wanted. like hell. u know that i obviously have the intellect to tell that ur trying to get my attention. princes are not supposed to be in that kind of situation. only losers are. if u cant handle your own life and only know how to whine, u think that constitutes who i want as my bf? get a life. i really dont know what went so wrong with me that night to say yes.

Terms and conditions to clubbing.
louise will never say yes after drinking anything that is intoxinated.
and even if so, will not honour it the next day due to an exclusion clause stated HERE!

This is due to the factors vitiating a contract due to incapacity in the form of intoxication.

so true, education comes for a purpose.

2007-03-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

its over i think. i cudnt stand it any longer. ys answered, st answered, sy answered and everyone else i cud get. and after 6 missed calls in the morn, 3 in the middle of the day, 5 at night and emailing me on msn friendster hotmail.. i still ignored him but then he messaged jj. thats it. u disturb my frens ur dead. i got st to call and talk to him and i refused to talk to him. he said he understands. bloody hell i hope he will. what the crap of i will not disturb u anymore and then tml cont calling.

morale of the story. princes are not found in clubs. only irritating jerks are.

2007-03-12T03:44:00.000-07:00

seriously u disgust me. yups downing graveyards do bring me to the graveyard. bloody hell get off my back. i'll make sure we'll get even. so even u wont even know what hit you.

2007-03-09T09:39:00.000-08:00

kudos to slowing down. heex. for not flinging.

been so busy and stressed with photography. artist or clown.and wif e hall video.

need time to go out and shop though i did lots of dat in bangkok like a wk ago. haha.
no more galivanting till 3 in the morn. chinatown geylang(stupid st insisted i look at the pros there) mustafa ( they have everything and anything..stupid lame parrot talk. haha) cos everytime after that i get totally washed up.

lost contact lenses, spilt destroyed final prints and negatives and nearly died today. okay and not to mention the missed calls i dont wanna answer. THIS alone is the reason why its never gg to happen.

2007-03-04T08:38:00.000-08:00

数到五答应我

第一次看着你就为你心动
聪明的我怎能让你走
第二次看见你我竟然失控
是我的错请你原谅我
第三次看见你想要告诉你我真的爱你
是真的爱你
第四次看着你我有些要求
请你能够安安静静的聆听
一.让我保护你
二.让我照顾你
三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
四.接受这命运
五.永远不分离说你愿意
那最后一个一定要说你愿意
wanna be your lover i wanna be your man
我只希望给你多一点我只要你开心多一点
can you be my lover don"t wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天给你幸福到永远
因为我wann be your lover i wanna be your man
说你害怕因为受过伤
不需要害怕因为我不是他

2007-02-28T01:35:00.000-08:00

i tink its impossible for me to go slow. everytime to me, i like new things, that are so different from me and thats why i get into trouble so fast. is living for the moment the way to go or issit the way that leads to me playing with fire? i need to lengthen my attention span. and not get bored so fast. is cute the only thing i should care about..then whats the difference between the past and now. why i left for a future.. is this the future i look forward to.. although i have to admit its very fun. arghs.

2007-02-27T04:30:00.000-08:00

as usual we quarrelled again.. about the old things that u used to complain about. the problem is i dont think what i did was wrong yet u think it was terribly so. thats why it was over in the first place. and no matter how many times u try and restart its always the same ending. just let go. maybe then you'll feel better.

2007-02-26T08:07:00.000-08:00

see see see just say u only then now u like that again. troublemaker. dunno how to scold myself already.

2007-02-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

louise is playing with fire. louise is a trouble maker. louise needs someone to rein her in before anything happens again. louise needs to have intellectual maturity of 19.

2007-02-23T06:30:00.000-08:00

i kinda miss tigger. and its hard to say so. miss tigger buying supper for me. miss tigger smirking. miss tigger all in all. tigger's about to board the plane soon i guess.

so many things to do and i am currently feeling depressed in my attempt to take and produce artist pictures for my portfolio. how to show feelings in pictures is something hard hard hard to do.

slept at630am that morn for 4hrs after gg to mos. did i say the first dj sucks? ya. but anyway not that crowded as phuture.

so many things to do so little time.

and i feel like doodling around again. no. no.no. think of what will happen after. not just what is happening.
jens most memorable quotes of the year : " These kind of things will only happen to you."

2007-02-17T06:57:00.000-08:00

and its cny soon. will try and recharge for the weekend. went shopping toDay but like half the shops in town are closed but still managed to buy some stuff. except for the fact that my sandals snapped halfway and i had to buy bubblegummers to wear home. ha.

midnight fiesta was quite fun. eating and eating till i snuffed out with 0412 0614 and 0204. ha. and thAT night i ended up being the succesor for pub sec. ate ate ate that night from chinatown to geylang. haha.

things are always happier when u dont plan for it to happen.

2007-02-13T07:17:00.000-08:00

tml's the day. kinda stressed these days. just have no time to do my own stuff at all. ok la i admit i went out during the night quite some times this week. dragged by 0311 and 0309. 0407 is so over. went chinatown at night and thats why i sleep at like 4am everytime. deadbeat/ i jus slept and slept on the weekend. This weeks meant to be better. except for the continual disturbances from everyone to try and a) ask me to go out on wed b) set me up with someone on wed c)kaypoh who i am gg out with on wed. and d) want to come find me here.. when all i wanna do is stay in hostel! no kidding. no prince with a white horse anyway. ( and jen gave me a rose for vday. omg.) can i just spend vday with some cute kid who can make me happy? haha. we can watch happy feet. heex.

distressing about the sp identity which i have to do which thank god linda helped me with. u know sometimes these things are just dependant on human relations and thank god i have such a nice and loyal fren. and not to mention capable too. Dearie thanks a lot. and also my dearest wn and qq. i dont think its nice to say what happened here but theyre like my own family. so iam so sad that they have to go. no more playing ziggity together, watching dan fei bi jiao hong at 1am, and doing everything else together. but they'll always form an integral part of h3 that i will never forget. wn was the first person i met here who taught me how to use stars planner on my first day being so confused here. it was such a shock to me. woe to the idiot who complained who will not have it well on her.

its gg to be cny. looking forward to shopping, break and everything. was looking back on my pics last time in jc. realised my uniform to skirt ratio was 3-1. omg. like my skirt isnt that short but then my shirt is freaking long. haha like a guys one. haha. reminds me of what sky said. that he thot i was jens bf on the first day we moved in. cos only bfs will be so nice to move things for her. and the thot didnt occur that the stuff was MINE! and so he thot jen's bf was a short guy with spiky hair. aiya. iam sure not gg to let the freshies who come in this yr think so or anyone who sees me anytime soon to think so.

toodle loo for now. wish me a peaceful day ahead cos i just got a phone call which i dont want to ans.

2007-02-02T08:48:00.000-08:00

i realise most of the time i dunno what i want. jen says i have split personalities. i dont think so, i just think i have extreme moods during different times that are very sensitive. i think i just want time on my own. to settle everything on hand before i think about anything else. been so tired wif sch. still not used to the harsh timetable. i want to spend more time at home just sleeping after having breakfast with my parents.just want to be able to meet everyone else that i havent met for ages. apparently its impossible. i just want to be wilful can i? i hope that in my whole life i'll meet all the people who will continue to allow me to. i dont want to grow up.

2007-01-30T05:52:00.000-08:00

hes attached. damned.. he asked me out on vday. damn dead. he says no brother. freak hell. great.

2007-01-29T07:09:00.000-08:00

as usual now is the time where i dunno what i want anymore. its the first time i am afraid of that day. for the one who will look for me, for the one that i want to look for and lastly the one i am afraid that will see us if any of the above happens. like real. bother. how cute.

had choc buffet that day. was quite fun. well ive decided not to think so much but just flirt on with life and move on. no use anyway. ya ya thats what i say and u'll see me still delusional tml.

2007-01-26T10:01:00.000-08:00

so what i saw was not real!!!!!!!!! haha. cant tell u how happy iam. dunno this is good or bad. although situation still rather unresponsive but well. haha at least not dead. anyways. lindas moving into hall 3. block c!! near dears. omg. we're having steamboat then. ms hall 3. haha. 4 of us only. next time when we get more pots then can ask all my "sisters" in other halls too. hate maritime tech. bloody hell bloody hard, bloody brain boggling and hard work. oh forgot to say i gave him a peace of my mind that day. think it was at last the last straw that i cudnt take. what the hell "hope u keep ur promise to tell me when ur attached" what do u think u are,.freaking hell make me angry. aarrgghh. and this time i wont be so nice to feel bad i scolded u anymore. shod i go to st james? heard the music sucks with house. no louise. u shod stay home and watch over the hedge, then support soccer. bloody. i wanna learn takraw. damned. oh so excited to take pics with the cam for my elective black and white photography. everyone out there my darling hunks and babes beware. haha. loulou is here.

2007-01-22T04:33:00.000-08:00

i thinki saw what i was not supposed to see. and now ive come to the stupid question i think everyone will face once. do i deny what i saw? right. good question as to whiCH i have no answer, and nobody but me myself and i can convince myself. greaT.

2007-01-19T04:08:00.000-08:00

i admit i copied the below from alex.

It doesn't matter whether you're 20 or 10, fact is you don't turn 20 from 10 overnight. An overnight resolution to become 20 does not make you 20 and to be truthfully 10 is sometimes better than being pretentiously 20.

Freaking true.

2007-01-19T03:46:00.000-08:00

quite funny. someone likes you. you like someone else. yet you have just broken up with another and some another wants to know you. what a confusing thing worse than maths. cos theres no solution or answer. the answer is undefined. why am i always in such situations. i need a normal life. normal. N_O_R_M_A_L!

anyway, we won takraw finals. cool. but then there was this super nonsensical guy who kept jeering the opp team. pity the opposing guy from hall 4. he's no 17 who was sooo irritated by him when the loser said nice one beautiful! when he missed the save for the ball.that loser. jen says hes a nice guy cos he said sorry when the ball hit our team. well, technically not supposed to feel sorry for him but then we shod win with pride ok.

said the wrong thing that day. :"he also nv play u no need congrats him la". reply was:"but iam also part of the team." i was joking. stupid yuansheng kept saying i score absolutely zero now. i admit.

so happy with our hall tee. mine has number somemore! hall player. hahaha. he was saying i treat his room as a changing room and playground. but somehow waving from 0407 issnt as exciting as i expected it to be. like its such a normal place after all. sian. see the thing is i need excitement. sad case.

puked after we went k thAT day. omg. weak stomach..weak.

after starting everything realised that this sem is okay after all. i mean all the maths and physics might not be that bad after all. ha. long timetable though.

louise is going to stay in hall after this every wednesday night to watch over the hedge. iam not going to leave my hall. i am not going anywhere near town on wednesdays. specifically i am not going to go.

2007-01-11T08:53:00.000-08:00

12-jan-2007. 12.38am. call time 02.07mins.

Dialogue as follows:
Hello.
Hello.
Who is this.
Louise.Erm are u free now?
Ya why eh?
Nothing i just wanted to ask u if i can book court anot.
Wha, so late then u call me to ask if can book court.
ya lo. jess said jd not very efficient so i want to book court call u lo.
why not efficient leh?
Cos he always never give ans right away.
oh. when u wanna play.
jess playing tml morn at 9am so if i can i want to play also lo.
oh cos norm when u wanna book at night he wont give u the ans straightaway cos we have training for IHG but morn sure can cos nobody play so early one la.
When does IHG ends ah?
Not sure.
I saw u play takraw. Shuang la, u won what.
haha. thank you thank you.
So u wanna book court or not.
why must book eh.
cos if got ppl go down play then clash u can say that u book what.
ok so next time i wanna play i just call u tell u i wanna play ok?
ya can can.
what u doing now ah.
nothing. why?
no thot u training disturb u.
no la, so late where still got training. sleep alrdy la.
how i know u all, u got so early sleep one meh?
haha.
okok dun disturb u alrdy. sorry ah.thanks. bye.
its ok. bye.

2007-01-07T02:24:00.000-08:00

School starts tml. on monday. its been so fast that sem 1 has passed and now we're into sem 2.so okay i did not bad for sem 1. there are so many things i wud or wudnt have expected to happen that happened and what i wanted to happen that did not.

i guess in a way that i am happy where i am to have ppl who love me and those whom i love. i wish that all those ppl will be happy. cos only when everyone ard u is happy will u be too.

sometimes when uve gone thru so much and have so much to tell u end up with nothing to say.
its kinda funny when ppl take rumours to be true yet when whats true lies before them they are unable to notice or realise. ironic.

pushing my way thru 2007 is not gg to be easy! but louise is here. press control button square square square square circle! haha.